Gratitude, mindfulness and positive feedback.

Quick Description

In pairs. One participant asks the other, “do you know what I like about you?” Whatever the answer is, the first participant reinforces the answer and says asks the person to guess again. After 2 tries, the first person reveals what they like about the second person.

How to Play

Say to participants:  

• “We are going to get in pairs (A and B) and think of three things we like about our partner. 
• A asks B, ‘Do you know what I like about you?’ B has to think of something about herself that B might appreciate. She offers up a suggestion in a question like, ‘That I am an optimist?’ 
• A says something about that like, ‘Yes, you do always find a way to see the positive, but that’s not what I was thinking. Do you know what I like about you?’ 
• B comes up with another possibility, ‘That I’m kind.’  
• A responds, ‘Yes, I’ve actually seen you go above and beyond to help others, but that’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking that you are an attentive listener. You listen on purpose when others speak to really get their meaning.’ 
• Even if the player guesses one of the three things you thought of, you keep one in reserve to tell them at the end. Then you’ll switch and B gets to ask A, and the game continues.

Notes

The players can go two at a time in front of the other players, or players can pair off and do this exercise in breakout rooms online or separately in person for a more private exchange.

Keep the tone upbeat and playful. Celebrate what they’ve said without making it ‘wrong’. It is not a guessing game, it’s a game of positive appreciation and self reflection. Enjoy.

Discussion Questions:

• What did you notice as you participated in this exercise?
• How did it feel to hear the things the other person liked about you? 
• How did it feel to come up with things you think are likable about yourself? 
• What does this activity suggest to you about the power of sharing positive observations? 
• What might you do differently in your daily life based on your experience today? 

Variations

Focus the question for a specific role or relationship. For example: Do you know what I like about you as a member of this work team? …as a life partner? …as a member of this community?

Origin

This game comes from Robin Fox, M.Ed. Find our more about Robin at www.social-eyes.org

There’s a song called “What I Like About You” by the Romantics that might be fun to play before you start this game.. Here’s a link to their official music video: https://youtu.be/Rqnw5IfbZOU

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